old sad and forgotten

MOVING (moved, rather)

2010-10-23T16:16:00.002+03:00

NEW, COOLER (in theory) BLOG

it's bright on the outside, the bright love the dark side

2010-09-30T15:00:00.001+03:00

bigmouth du du dum

2010-09-23T21:14:00.008+03:00

I hate Finnish fashion blogs, it's all either:

lolitas-gone-fashionistas. Hate because they all look the same and it's depressing. And a little confusing, actually, how can they all have the same face? But anyway, how I see it is that with lolita style the point sort of is to look like a lolita, so by dressing in a very specific way, they all look the same but it separates them from most people. So when they all look the same but also the same as everyone else? Oh, and they're supahh excited about it? Yeah, depressing. (Not that I'm a fan of lolitas & not that I have anything against them, but I have a thing for youth cultures pre-2006.)
ordinary girls with variable sense of style; most of them are super boring but then there are a few who can make Vero Moda look good. (not Guess though. I'm offended by the existence & extent of Guess ugliness.)
12-year-olds who Want One Too
15-year-olds (or fucking 28-year-olds) who are sooooo into fashion and feel compulsed to do an update with (OR quite often without) their personal view on the *~latest~*~news~*, obviously unaware that their blog Actually Just Isn't Elle Magazine
17-year-old hipsters or not hipsters (I hate the term, I mean... YEAH WHATEVER CAN WE STOP TALKING ABOUT IT ALREADY?) who live in the belief they personally invented irony; although maybe they did because that's not how I use the word.
(and the occasional anti-fashion blog, most of them suck too; the idea sucks, so it's all in what you're actually posting)

...and I guess I don't know what it should be, I just want pretty girls in awesome clothes, I don't give a shit about your Dior mascara

(or just pretty girls. because the outfit may make the girl but the girl always makes the outfit. but I draw the line at inability to use decent spelling & grammar... most of the time anyway.)

hipster shit

2010-09-10T00:49:00.001+03:00

editing this amused me all day, I have such a cheap sense of humour

who watches over me

2010-09-09T22:59:00.002+03:00

this is my autumn outfit, I want to wear it for the next two months.

sleep less

2010-08-24T23:27:00.000+03:00

come Armageddon come

2010-08-18T17:54:00.003+03:00

I felt English today. Too much Doctor Who, I guess. And the smell of autumn in the air. Sort of... seventeen, suburbia, stomping on the world.

wait until tomorrow and there's still no way

2010-08-14T13:22:00.003+03:00

I need geek glasses to finish this look. :/

I gave in! new favourite pants.

you left me bleeding on the dancefloor

2010-08-05T19:29:00.003+03:00

this be my rebellious teenager outfit. poor Bambi. the shirt/dress is a kids' size and I had to cut it in order to avoid looking like one.

I feel for you, Dalek

2010-08-01T19:52:00.003+03:00

i'm all over you, i'm not over you

2010-07-29T21:45:00.002+03:00

mornings before work-

I actually am that short.

+photoshop wank-

emotional air raids exhausted my heart

2010-07-25T20:16:00.004+03:00

1. I got a home perm. It's not as curly as I had hoped (I quite skilfully forgot that I can't even blow-dry my hair properly, nevermind deal with tricky rolls and weird-smelling liquids while not being able to see my head, when making this decision...) but it's a lot better than limp & style-less.

2. I was supposed to get a new pair of flats to wear out. Instead, got these.

3. I like this dress. I'm not sure I would if there were more actually, mind-blowingly cool dresses available, but impossibly fussy as I am, I have to find alternatives.

I NEVER PROMISED YOU A ROSEGARDEN HONEY PUT DOWN THAT CIGARETTE COME OVER HERE I'LL GET OUT THE SHEET MUSIC

2010-07-11T10:54:00.002+03:00

It's been, like, three seasons of Grey's anatomy since I last wrote here. I don't feel like wearing clothes when I get home and I don't feel like taking pictures when my apartment is such a mess.

this is what I look like most of the time.

I bought the 2007 Pride shirt because I like the design much more than this year's or last year's or any other year's.

As always, there are no pictures of me from the Pride Parade, (and I was wearing a nice outfit too), but have some of people & balloons:

FISH CAKES

2010-06-08T20:56:00.005+03:00

people graduated, I didn't. my little brother did. there was no vegetarian sandwich cake so I had the fish one and apologized to every little shrimp. didn't taste that special.

dress h&m shoes bianco bag 2nd hand from berlin

2010-06-07T00:00:00.000+03:00

i want to punch my lungs out

almost summer

2010-05-30T12:21:00.000+03:00

Milla, me, hanging around, drama

I need to start dragging my camera around more ... and hiding it if I see anyone more competent taking pictures xxx

I need a reason, I can't think without one now

2010-05-25T12:24:00.000+03:00

(pictures taken after school, rain and other misfortunes.)

youth, sleep in a deep deep sleep

2010-05-24T05:03:00.004+03:00

saturday I went to Milla's graduation party (two weeks early since she won't be in Finland at the time of the actual graduation)

later the party continued in a bar and I had changed clothes. I feel like all my clothes are either dyke clothes or middle-aged-woman clothes. this outfit has a bit of both. I take turns ordering wine and beer.

H&M clothes, Bianco + H&M shoes, bag from UFF, cheapo tourist sunglasses, old dog's collar

I've been dreaming about this lately

2010-05-23T14:30:00.003+03:00

summer

H&M, H&M

H&M + Uniqlo + Bianco

in the walls

2010-05-20T21:41:00.006+03:00

I got a new chest of drawers (= I can finally take my accessories out of the laundry basket & my laundry out of the random bags shoved in a corner)

also, smoking inside is cool

also, if you wanna see a (mini-)play I've written and directed. we're on tuesday and wednesday.

passive bloody aggressive

2010-05-13T12:49:00.004+03:00

shirt: Sisley (Suvi's) * shorts: cut from Only jeans * Braces: Carlings * Coat: second-hand H&M * Shoes: DinSko

When I'm pissed off (i.e. VITUTTAA) I tend to wear slightly indecent clothes. It doesn't make any sense but it feels like I'm getting back at the people who are annoying me. (Like if I'm angry at a teacher, I'll be sure to wear a shirt that regularly flashes my bra to their next lesson. Uh. Yeah. I bet they're incredibly offended.) My original outfit was much worse but I was starting to look like a goth slut so I had to scrap it.

I'm nice to you, I could make it through

2010-05-10T23:25:00.003+03:00

om du vill ha mig

2010-05-06T19:17:00.003+03:00

moodswings, self-esteem swings, cigarette-deprivation, assorted stress factors.

h&m, dinsko.

but you were too young to remember

2010-05-04T22:42:00.003+03:00

MATES!

matey mates!

this is a video post I made in January and never got around uploading.

It includes me talking about punk.

WATCH IT.

sunday

2010-05-03T14:00:00.000+03:00

I was surprised, I was happy for a day

2010-05-02T13:00:00.001+03:00

(the hobbit look is back.)

because the days are long where I come from

2010-05-01T15:12:00.002+03:00

Primark cardigan, Miss Selfridges dress, ?? belt, H&M tights

H&M H&M

mayday was gay. (in the good way.)

if I decide to rule the world I'm still coming back for you

2010-04-24T17:28:00.003+03:00

I'm not up to date with my life.

* random outfit:

(black&white, unironed, might-have-as-well-slept-in clothes are the new everything)

* what I've been up to:

...something like that.

the pain of being a hopeless unbeliever

2010-04-18T22:37:00.002+03:00

the black will be grey and the white will be grey but the blues are still blue

2010-04-14T22:40:00.002+03:00

I'm a drama girl and a writer girl and a girl with cameras on the bookshelf and basil on the windowsill.

I'm tired, I'm bored

2010-04-09T17:42:00.003+03:00

And still, and still.

I got the first half of me & my mum's H&M order. this is my share:

When I opened the package, I realized that once again, I haven't bought anything interesting - because once again, I couldn't find anything interesting. I think I'm doomed to be incorrectly boring.

Anyway, the pink over-size "faded" shirt is super-soft ♥♥♥

You look perfectly put together. Do you display this well in IE?

2010-04-02T13:28:00.001+03:00

just letting you know I'm still alive.

constantina feels right at home

2010-03-22T22:07:00.002+02:00

1. school time goes twice as fast as regular time, I swear

2. I'm restless and it manifests through my hair

3. everything pisses me off and I don't know why.

every ist and every ism thrown my way

2010-03-19T15:03:00.003+02:00

this is not how you study:

then again, you probably shouldn't be doing it on the morning of the exam anyway :---) I'll tell you though, one of the things asked was exactly what I had read on a randomly picked page. [Today's exam was ethics and philosophy of life (yes, I looked it up), which is a poncy name for a dull subject I'm taking for no reason.]

clothes: H&M.

and here you'll find my heart and I

2010-03-17T20:08:00.005+02:00

jeans & britboy cardigan H&M; shirt Zara

>> I call it a britboy cardigan because it reminds me of British boys and was therefore a key contributor in psyching myself up for today's English matriculation exam.

ps. this is how you study:

Apart from having to know something for the first time in four years, I like these exams: I go to a little bubble where putting my snacks and sandwiches neatly in boxes and listening to YLE Mondo and Morrissey at 7 in the morning and remembering how to chew Nicorette the right way are the things that make me a whole person.

Chair Closed for Suspicion of Evil

2010-03-12T19:09:00.005+02:00

THAT SOFA IS THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL. It's actually a very friendly orange colour, but put it in a picture, BLAM! eternal tongues of fucking lava erupt all over the colours. I'm lagging so much behind in my own life that I have no idea what the point of this post was. This was someday or other and I had the revelation that in some sick way dressing in unattractive clothes attracts me. ~~does this make me a hipster?~~ Comfort comfort. I want to go to school in pyjamas but I'd just end up feeling uncomfortable anyway.

if you knew his name would you feel the same?

2010-03-10T17:48:00.004+02:00

I don't know what I've done with all my nice black clothes (worn the niceness out of them, most likely) so I'm trying to accessorize. cheapo tourist sunglasses from Greece & telephone necklace by NewLook.

I started a Project 365 blog, check it out --> 365goodbyes@blogspot.com
(I can't be bothered making a proper layout yet...)

"today has never happened and it doesn't frighten me"

2010-03-08T13:00:00.002+02:00

1pm in the morning:

my new budget-wrecking device:

the ceiling above my bed:

<3___<3

decide it's time to reinvent yourself

2010-03-07T13:10:00.003+02:00

Here's a fashion tip: time big life-changing events close to each other - friday, laundry day, saturday, hair cut day. That way you'll feel even more completely renewed when you get out of the bathtub full of half-opened dreadlocks and pull on fresh clean clothes. :)

this is a lot like what I want to look like. I should remember that. I think it's simply the presence of black that goes miles towards being ~myself~.

dress GinaTricot; cardigan Only; boots Dinsko

Now, I really loved my so-called dreads, I hadn't even gotten bored of them yet, but I just decided I'm too fickle for them and the scissors were within reach... I think I love cutting my hair more than actually having a new haircut. BIT LIKE I LIKE CUTTING MY WRIST MUCH BETTER THAN GETTING UGLY SCARS. Yeah?

pocketpocketpocket

2010-03-05T18:47:00.002+02:00

dress Uniqlo; tights H&M

pocketpocketpocketpocketpocketpocketpocketpocketpocketpocketpocket

key earring H&M; lock necklace from a diary

they didn't want me when I was 17, either

2010-03-04T23:00:00.002+02:00

n/a

love seems something like wanting a scar

2010-03-01T23:58:00.003+02:00

saturday, very few clean clothes, finally washed my fringe, found my only silver chain, also found a lot of random stuff on my kitchen worktop, put it all together.

shirt Topshop; dress/tunic GinaTricot; tights H&M

yea i have huge shoulders, stfu.

if i was in a bauhaus cover band i'd totally make a bauhaus cover

2010-03-01T15:01:00.003+02:00

lately, in the morning when I'm dressing + doing make-up and looking over myself and noticing some flaw, it starts repeating in my head with the tune of Dark Entries, in Peter Murphy's voice -

"fat ankles! fat ankles!" or
"mad eyebrows! mad eyebrows!"

- which makes the whole process of finding flaws sort of hilarious.

Listen to this if you don't get it.

(okay, actualleeh this entry is old-ish but I just found it and I still think it's funny :-----))

nails~

2010-02-25T14:37:00.004+02:00

achievement of the century, I have done my nails. In four layers, too, not just the "slap some half-dried black on & hope it's still there tomorrow"

"Miami" and "Seabreeze" by 17 (♥) / stars by Miss Selene (from Seppälä).

I can't recommend the star stuff, though, it looks lovely in the bottle (as does the heart version) but you have to pry the little things (please someone tell me what they are called...) out one by one. I've had a similar nailpolish with round ones before and that actually did work, so I don't know if these shapes are too big or if there are too few of them or what...

I'm still inexplicably in love with my hair

2010-02-24T13:45:00.000+02:00

...so ha:

"never be young again" - but you will

2010-02-17T18:40:00.004+02:00

where i go we're dressing down

2010-02-13T18:00:00.001+02:00

note to self #1: do hair before getting drunk. (i'm weaning it off conditioner and hairspray for Mystery Reason X.)

(#1.5: take pictures before getting drunk)

note to self #2: don't go out when you know you're not getting a paycheck for another month.

I thought we were going to McDonalds, but ended up at an indie gig. felt out of place in my kindergarten outfit. oh the fuck, whatever.

lately, i've been feeling like i'm so fucking gorgeous that any clothes will look thought-out AND attractive on me. Hahaha. Today I woke up in legwarmers, black underwear and the college shirt from yesterday, with my hair sticking up and yesterday's makeup all over my face, and I stepped in front of the mirror and went "oh fuck I'm pretty".

did i mention my hair is a mix of light blue and sickly yellow?

I never said I'm ready, I never said I'm better

2010-02-08T19:45:00.003+02:00

everything's ours for a few hours

2010-02-03T00:50:00.011+02:00

shirt: H&M men; jeans: Only; belt: from brother; bag: 2nd hand

Dear diary, today I danced. It felt like I was the star of the place and like no one was watching at the same time, IT WAS GREAT. You should try inhibitionism, sometimes it's so worth it.

crisis in 3... 2... 1...

2010-01-28T22:53:00.002+02:00

excuse my, umm, hoof??

SHIRT: ApB (world tour of Germany 2009)
SKIRT: H&M
BRACES: Carlings
SCARF: H&M

This was yesterday. Later in the evening I had put jeans on because it was freaking cold and suddenly I realized I look like a 20-something heavy metal fan. And then I started thinking about it and whether it was just the shirt and then I realized that I don't particularly want to look like a 20-something anything fan. EWWWWH. THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING TO ME. Not just twenty, but twenty-something. What the hell do I think I am doing being 20 anyway? FUCK. Just give me something to die for already.

layout

2010-01-28T16:34:00.003+02:00

(layout under construction, sorry.)

//I made a new header yesterday and I was going to change it today and then I realized I don't have time and now I like this temporary layout more than the header I made. What to do! I guess I'll wait until I get bored because I probably will.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

2010-01-26T18:00:00.001+02:00

I need a new name

all I can think of is obnoxious demi-smart quotes from obnoxious demi-smart songs - like:

YOU PUT THE BROKE IN BROKENHEARTED
or
YOU PUT THE ART IN RETARTED

or

FOLLOWING THE LATEST TREND IS, LIKE, SO PASSÉ
which sort of fits me except that I'm not very anti-fashion-stylish either

or

...?

I hate names

>>your input pls
EVEN IF YOU'RE A RANDOM BY-SURFER WHO COULDN'T CARE LESS :)

shy & dry & verging on ugly

2010-01-26T10:13:00.003+02:00

this is sort of how I feel. I decided to skive the second I had done my make-up and it was too late to take a shower anymore. I'm going to school for lunch because A) I love (free) school food, B) there's an actor I need to find. Don't I feel artschoolish :')

clothes: same as before blablabla, what's the point when everyone knows I get 80% of my clothes from H&M and 10% as 2nd hand, socks from ~~god~~merlinknowswhere

+ how my contact lenses really look:

>>if you look too close, you can see the pattern on them and the green behind.

too young to lose it * too old to choose it

2010-01-24T00:03:00.008+02:00

On Friday, I had a parteeh to celebrate/mourn the last day of my teenage. We listened to embarrassing CD-R's I made in 2005, plus Queen and Musta Paraati. At first I thought no one was coming and went to Subway with Suvi to cheer myself up, but in the end about 8 people turned up, which was a pretty good number.

I went through half my wardrobe trying to find something teenagey and cute and fun. Ended up in all-black and braces. My new favourite outfit, I think.
Clothes H&M; braces Carlings.

part of my gift from Sarri!

Unfortunately, the only other pictures I have are of Sarri reading and Suvi hiding her face, as I took the rest on film. I might post some when I get them.

dinosaur disco

2010-01-21T22:16:00.003+02:00

shirt fida; skirt H&M

self-timer + auto-focus = bad idea.

this post is an excellent example of my photoshop attention span: every picture is a different colour scheme.

I almost never wear earrings these days, today I decided it was time to get back into habit.
(There might have been a better picture, of exactly the same collection, in my previous blog. If anyone followed that; I know someone did.)

I got a new mouth, shut it to your face

2010-01-20T13:00:00.003+02:00

I got my new contact lenses last week. They were supposed to be opaque violet. However, my eyes look blue at best and a muddy greenish-meddled-with-violet at worst. (My real eye colour is a greyish greenish blue - not even that dark. Re-define "opaque" plz.)

Also, got a Joe Blasco lipstick from an old lady whose apartment I clean. She didn't like it because it has a ridiculously strong sweet taste. I love it, it tastes exactly like I had coated my lips in vanillin sugar, but this also means I'll probably accidentally lick it off way too frequently...

(title is misheard lyric. better than the actual lines imho.)

this will make you love again

2010-01-19T19:21:00.006+02:00

this blog needs a new name. and a new address, but unfortunately, blahblahblah. I read A Home At The End Of The World. It's one of those books I can't organize my thoughts about.

I've decided it's ok to look like a thrift store exploded on me. At least until spring.

don't know what you're gonna do about me

2010-01-18T05:18:00.010+02:00

I want to make collections of songs like people make collections of thumbnails of photographs in deviantart.

Yesterday, smoking in front of my building, I saw a young woman reading The Hobbit to a small boy while they walked. That was the most enchanting thing I have seen in a long time. I want to make collections of heart-breaking people like people make collections of magazine cuttings of their favourite bands on the wall. A fairy-like paper-thin boy in a tophat sitting on a fence at the station. I still don't know if I imagined him; if it's possible I would have seen something so perfectly tailored for me to like at age 14.

I want someone to read books to me. I want someone to listen while I fumble my way through poems in English under a ceiling of glow-in-the-dark stars. I want someone to make heart-shaped breakfast for me. I want someone to stand in front of my camera lens and not say "can't you do that some other day when I'm not looking so shitty". I want mornings and nights and empty parking lots. I want to crawl into photographs taken by young girls all over the world and create my imaginary lover there between flower-patterned walls and trails of cigarette smoke and piles of old paperbacks.

I want to create the things I should want to have, and I want to have the things I should want to create.

*related deviantart favourites collection
*related spotify playlist

Let's cut class and kiss in the carpark

2010-01-11T16:40:00.003+02:00

I was prepared for another two months in jeans and baggy jumpers, but at some point dragging out everything I feel like wearing turned into a style-free out-of-proportion school-girl outfit. good?

skirt & slipover H&M; tie from dad; shirt Christie's old school shirt :') authentic, eh? eh?

goddamn, Zubat

2010-01-07T22:21:00.006+02:00

I changed the header and tweaked the layout accordingly. I've been preoccupied having a headache and trying to catch Onix in Pokémon Red. (Brock has always been my idol <3___<3 I remember doing personality tests in my cousin's Pokémon magazines, I was so proud when I got Brock ♥) (If anyone wants to make me a real cool layout I wouldn't mind @__@;)

I'm getting so tired of winter, all I do is freeze and whine. I think I'm staying in this outfit for the next week:

jumper nicked from mum; shirt GinaTricot; summer dress H&M; jeans New Look; socks nicked from home & that triangle on the toes of the red one is actually a bunny! ♥

I've finally sort of got the hang of layering without suffocating. With no thanks to fashion magazines! Have you ever noticed how whenever there's an article on layering - the kind that says "we're saving you from your northern gloomy doom!" in huge flashing letters - all it actually tells you to do is to put a cardigan over your t-shirt. THANKS FOR THE TIP, MATE.

everybody's dying just to get the disease

2010-01-06T16:57:00.007+02:00

Yesterday I got my parents' old Nikon FM. So far I've only taken pictures of it; I bought film but I need a photogenic subject to practice on. (oh the wannabe that I am, I don't even know if I can use this camera, but oh isn't it pretty?)

Mum said there were all kinds cool filters too, but turns out that apparently they were not for this camera but the semi-automatic model, which my parents have sold. Sniff.

I call this "Bridge Over Troubled Water".

I was also given a a leather cigarette case from the 70s. Red is not my colour (and looks terrible pulled out of the pocket of my pink fur, even while the idea of a cigarette case fits quite nicely) but I generally can't resist old pseudo-useful things mum digs up from her Early Years.

Stay tuned, eventually I'll report back on how my latest dabbling project goes...

wearing rags to make you pretty by design

2010-01-04T22:18:00.003+02:00

trainers Blend ~ jeans New Look ~ hoodie Fenchurch

I found these old shoes at my parents' house. I hate them really but I made myself wear them because I really want some tall Converse shoes.

(why am I in a bathtub? There wasn't enough light for my shittier camera.)

'n yeah this is an outfit worth posting, you should have seen me for the past two weeks.

2009 in pictures .................. july to december

2010-01-02T02:27:00.002+02:00

continued...! at some point I realized I had changed the font size to smaller, so I changed it back...

2009 in pictures .................. january to june

2009-12-31T21:00:00.003+02:00

I'm bored, let's do a 2009 picture recap
plz ignore my laughable collage making skills.........

(there's minimum other people because I don't know who wants or doesn't want the publicity, though I couldn't ~not~ include Suvi in the one where I spent like four days with her)
(I'll post the rest tomorrow~~(ish)~~ )

daydream colours

2009-12-26T15:00:00.002+02:00

what feels important at the moment: writing, daydream colours, instant coffee, notebooks, photographs, postcards, maths, naps, w r i t i n g.

( I have given you my daydream colours / nevermind / I've always had better nightmares )

(& so I have used my gradient quota for the decade. --- oh look, it's almost 2010~!)

blogstuff

2009-12-23T12:16:00.009+02:00

I added a blogroll, omfg. This is a huge step for me because I generally feel weird about (admitting to) following strangers' blogs etc. (Or distance acquaintances - even more so actually.) I definitely never comment. It doesn't feel like there's much to say if you don't know them.

I have a similar problem with keeping a blog of this type myself - I have no particular interest for writing to random undefined strangers. With cryptic artsy blogs, you're writing to yourself and/or stalkers that appreciate your cryptic artsiness. With livejournal &c., you're writing to yourself and/or friends. But with "fashion" blogs? At least to me it seems that you're writing to please a crowd, capture their interest or some such. I just want people to love me because I'm pretty & would rather not write at all unless I've thought up something witty that will make you love me even more.

Also - I think that the general fashion blog writing style is often quite journalistic; even personal incidents are often made into something that resembles an article more than a diary entry. Of course there's nothing wrong with this, but it makes it hard for me to adjust myself to "fashion" (ie. outfit-of-the-day... I think we need more genres) blogging since I suck at... all those writing styles that aren't cutesy quirky poetic wannabe stuff. Or whatever. For a supposedly devoted, allegedly skilled writer, it's ridiculous to be this bad at expressing myself. (I think metaphors are much more straight-forward than straigth-forward descriptions... And who would give a FUCK about a metaphor about FUCKING FASHION BLOGS? We are at the core of my anguish!)

Now that I've conveniently reached a conclusion, I can tell you that I hate writing this too and will quit right now. Back to awkward semi-minimalistic outbursts in the next possible post.

I'm packing to go to my parents' place for Christmas. I'll have my computer & Internet & will no doubt be online most of my waking time, but I'm scheduling ~~some posts~~ a post anyway just because I can & finally have time.

words like violence

2009-12-21T21:23:00.003+02:00

I had fun today. & Apparently I can write on some scale. & I would tell you more but I hate blogging &c.&c.

& Yes, the Christmas lights are featured.

Dress stolen from mum.

hanging like christmas stars

2009-12-20T22:12:00.002+02:00

I finally hanged my Christmas lights. I really have no eye for this kind of thing.

So: Artistic or pathetic?

Question 2: Should I have wrapped myself in them & taken artsy pictures before hanging them?

pick me up, take me home, make this stop, hold on

2009-12-15T04:19:00.008+02:00

love this

want this

remembered this

Uniqlo dress, with H&M shirt and tights.

Bought the dress in London in May ♥ it has pockets in the side seams. (the salesperson had an adorable lisp and when I came out of the shop I realized I had started lisping too. I was picking up accents all weekend.)

now: back to writing. I have a short story to finish in six hours and half of that is lessons.

i don't mind baby i don't mind

2009-12-09T06:57:00.005+02:00

all clothes H&M, studded belt recycled from little brother, boots DinSko. PSB fangirl shirt printed by yours truly. I had this idea that I had to wear it for two days in a row.

I wish you could remind me who I was

2009-12-08T01:33:00.006+02:00

When I look in the mirror, most of the time I see what I would look like if I was 5kg lighter and more toned. Then at some point (usually at school/in town/in changing rooms) it hits me that that's not what other people see. I don't feel fat per se, I just feel wrong. (I have a lot of things that I think of as defining factors: blond hair for example. Any other colour feels temporary, an experiment, a play.)

This is probably the most useless defence mechanism ever...

(You know those anorexia awareness ads with an anxious-looking more or less fat girl that's revealed to be the reflection of a more or less skinny girl in the end? That's me in reverse.)

I might have forgotten what the point of this post was... just a random fact about me. And a half-arsed excuse if I ever seem to wear oddly unflattering outfits ;)

fluffles

2009-12-05T11:00:00.003+02:00

Thri-bleached still-yellow hair. Old crimping iron. Sisley shirt as donation/loan from Suvi. Old-ish H&M skirt. (Only cardigan because it's freezing outside.) Thinking you look like David Bowie in Labyrinth, then googling the pictures and realizing you don't.

sleep may be the enemy

2009-12-01T18:44:00.003+02:00

rffhhmfhhmmllfkkjjhdhhdddfssssdh

this was my "I might collapse at any minute" outfit after staying up two nights, but frustratingly enough, sleep took me before I made it out the door. (i.e. to my exam...)

Yes, it would work better with longer and/or skinnier legs. Yes, I do give a shit, but I don't give a shit about whether I give a shit or not...

and Plato waz my babysitter

2009-11-30T10:38:00.005+02:00

Today I went to my philosophy exam looking mostly like a primary school kid with parents who Aren't That Fussed As Long As It's Wearing Clothes And We Get It To School Somewhat On Time. (now what does that remind me of... oh yeah, primary school. ok, ok, idk.)

My two essays, too, resembled a third-grade writing task more than the intelligent & informed pondering of someone who's planning to do the matriculation exam in philosophy (along with four other potentially useless-as-fuck subjects and two possibly useful ones If I Make It Past Twenty Anyway).

Then I came back home and am just about to resume my hobby of reading fanfiction, which seems to take over most of my (consequently? extensive) waking time.

the world spins so fast, i might fly off

2009-11-26T13:41:00.004+02:00

You can tell when I feel good about my looks in the morning because I tend to pick this coat instead of my usual one. Not that I really like this one any more, but I've started to associate the other one with tiredness and general discomfort.

So yeah, happy with my outfit for a change, feel girly and all, & I need more exciting tights because otherwise I'm surely going to wear these out.

I've been listening to Duran Duran's first self-titled album (they have two - how awesome is that? with the double repetition, even one of them is hilarious enough - I borrowed this CD from the library the first time I listened to Duran Duran & fell in love with the library-tag-sticker-thing alone: "Duran Duran Duran Duran")

my cat fancies the zipper.

...Do I post too many pictures?

...then again...

(clothes H&M except shirt Miss Selfridge, jacket Zara)

i can't do what i do if it's you

2009-11-25T00:19:00.003+02:00

I don't know if I have the energy or interest for blogging after all.

Also, I hate almost all of my clothes. (The nice ones don't go with anything.)

mouse girl now

2009-11-21T01:07:00.006+02:00

School feels strange. Most of the people are strange. I think people think I'm in first year. (I wouldn't mind, but then I need to feel so goddamn superior to everyone that actually, I can't help but do.) Today when I came to school with glitter whiskers & nose some chick started making comments in a really condescending tone, I was so shocked I couldn't even think of an appropriate passive aggressive reply that would subtly state that it's none of her business what I do with my face and preferably also get in the fact that I'm fucking ancient while she's probably not even of age yet. What did I say instead? "I just felt like a small animal today."

By midday it started to feel really confusing that nobody else was wearing small-animal-whiskers. And I do mean that I was sincerely confused about this. How is it possible to be the only, absolutely only person in the whole school with drawn-on whiskers? Why don't people draw themselves whiskers more often? Wouldn't everybody feel better if we could all feel free to walk around pretending to have switched species every now and then?

(chopped & bleached my hair last night. need to fix both colour and cut. tired now.)

I've been hoping for meaning, I'm still looking for feeling, but all I ever get is you

2009-11-18T18:03:00.009+02:00

Here is a reconstruction of how I slept Monday night:

the first pose looks stupidly forced but it was actually very comfortable...

& Here is why I've decided that I hate my hair:

1. This is the only style that doesn't look shit with this colour.

2. I look like a pretentious fake bitch. Or alternatively, as I said, like shit. Carroty-ginger depressed shit.

These have got to be the only pictures ever taken of me in which I manage to look good and make myself want to puke at the same time.

i'm so homesick now for someone that i never knew

2009-11-13T19:20:00.006+02:00

Had a go with some bleach and ended up just slightly confused:

And mind you, I'm somewhat experienced in regularly bleaching my hair from whatever colour I decided to try only to find myself missing the blonde, and nothing like this has ever happened before. I must be getting old.

Admittedly, the colour is cute enough, but thank goodness there's no debate over whether to keep it like this or continue on my way to light; I don't like the way dark clothes go with it at all, and dressing in all-black is one of the things in my life that need to be absolutely comfortable.

shirt: second hand; shorts & top: H&M, belt: no idea.

the "I'm not as fat as it may seem" picture, umm?

cardigan: nicked from mum; scarf: H&M

I'll be bleaching it again this weekend. Probably. We'll see.

first posts are always so lame

2009-11-11T03:04:00.002+02:00

'lo.

It's not the ideal time for starting a new blog, considering it's pretty much winter already & I'm both tired and cold most of the time, resulting in exponentially boring outfits. Also, I seem to have lost what pitiful ability I had for taking pictures of myself.

anyway... got a new jumper from UFF. It's quite large, but with tighter hem & cuffs as if to point out that it's fashionably ~*oversize*~ rather than something a morbidly obese relative has grown out of.

product placement?

The motivation as well as purpose of this blog is to have an outlet for the stream of useless pictures that keeps gathering on my computer. I feel somewhat uncomfortable thinking of this as a "fashion" or "style" blog, considering both what the title implicates and the contents of a typical specimen of the kind. I feel somewhat obligated to state that I'm not going to be useful to anyone, I'm only interested in looking at myself in stupid poses, I'm severely bi-polar what comes to my own supposed prettiness or ugliness - ie, both madly in love with my own face, and absolutely humiliated by the prospect of being seen - and most likely I'll turn out to be more cute than interesting. I don't buy new clothes very often; it's not that I wouldn't like to, but I'm irrationally fussy over everything and either hate or can't imagine wearing most of the things I see. Which lands me in jeans and a plain long-sleeved shirt more often than I care to admit.

Also, there are periods over which I don't necessarily wash my hair more than once a week.

I hope I've succesfully persuaded you to give up even starting to follow this shit.